Standing with Louie

Louie Giglio has been an important influence on multiple generations and was invited to pray at the inauguration of the president.  His most recent influence has been in leading the charge against human trafficking across the globe.  It is amazing how much momentum this cause has gained under his leadership.  Last week at Passion 2013, college students gave about $4 millon to the cause.  It is the significance of this movement that led to his invitation to pray.  
Upon learning of his invitation, the media immediately went into dirt mode and has very widely published bits and pieces of a sermon he preached 22 years ago to prove that he is a bigot and anti-gay.  I can't believe that is what our country has come to.  What if in every job interview, the emphasis was on something you said 22 years ago?  Louie has preached 1000's of sermons that weren't picked through...only the 1 that said what they wanted to prove he said.  It is fickle and immature.  If you want to make claims on a man's character, read them all.  That's what integrity would do.  There is so little integrity in journalism anymore. 
Our country is divided right down the middle on the issue of homosexuality.  That means that we all know someone that we disagree with on this topic.  It doesn't mean that we can't focus on what we do agree on and love each other anyway.  For a supporter of gay rights to call a conflicting opinion bigoted is to make an equally bigoted statement.  I'm glad I'm not very publicly judged by something that I said 22 years ago.  
I find tremendous class in Louie's response (below).  He's so anti-guy that there's one sermon out of thousands that he's preached that even raised the issue, and hasn't even brought it up in 15 years. I'm disappointed in our country...again.  We let the loud voices of a few dictate the norms, and the truth gets glossed over so we can rush to judgement.  The Left does it.  The Right does it, and it's ridiculous. 
I feel like this is well said...
 "I am honored to be invited by the President to give the benediction at the upcoming inaugural on January 21.  Though the President and I do not agree on every issue, we have fashioned a friendship around common goals and ideals, most notably, ending slavery in all its forms.  
Due to a message of mine that has surfaced from 15-20 years ago, it is likely that my participation, and the prayer I would offer, will be dwarfed by those seeking to make their agenda the focal point of the inauguration.  Clearly, speaking on this issue has not been in the range of my priorities in the past fifteen years. Instead, my aim has been to call people to ultimate significance as we make much of Jesus Christ.
Neither I, nor our team, feel it best serves the core message and goals we are seeking to accomplish to be in a fight on an issue not of our choosing, thus I respectfully withdraw my acceptance of the President’s invitation.  I will continue to pray regularly for the President, and urge the nation to do so.  I will most certainly pray for him on Inauguration Day.
Our nation is deeply divided and hurting, and more than ever need God’s grace and mercy in our time of need."
If half of our country can make a hate case out of Louie Giglio, God help us...
jason


Being Saved


"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 1:18

More and more it is clear how true this verse is. Even within Christianity, the purpose of the cross has become highly controversial. Those who deny our faith don't understand and consider it folly. Christians are considered anti-intellectual by most of the atheist camp. Paul called this shot a couple thousand years ago. We shouldn't be surprised that many will think the faith we cling to is ridiculous. It is. It is not logical, it is not reducible, it is not testable or reproducible, it's faith. As caught up as I am in all of this, it's not the point of where I'm going today.

The words "being saved" jumped out at me in this passage. I meet with a group of guys every Monday night that help process through the passages for upcoming sermons. It's an incredibly valuable time, and last night we talked about this very issue. It's heart-breaking how many Christian's testimonies are only past tense. If they have a miracle story, it's one they look back to. When people tell their salvation stories, it usually involved a date, place and time fixed in history. The phrase here is not limited to the past, put includes the present, and it looks to the future. Salvation is an ongoing work of God in our lives. If we refer to our salvation only in the past tense, then we misunderstand the power of God. We need the gospel every day. Every day we are sinners in need of a Savior. Every day we are being sanctified, we are transformed as we seek after Him and His ways. Philippians says that He who started the work will finish it. When is that? When we die. In other words, salvation is not something we look back to, but something we look forward to.

In the Fall I went to the doctor after finding out that my blood pressure was sky high. After blood work, they found that I have a genetic predisposition to the diabetic condition that almost killed my father last year. My doctor is a godly man, who told me it's up to me to determine when it comes. If I work hard, get in shape, eat better, and sleep more, then I may fight it off for ever. I've taken that challenge seriously and begun to change things. So, I can look back at that moment when I realized I was broken and in need of change. 5 months later I'm in better shape, I feel better, but I've still got a long way to go. Even if I set a hard fast goal and reached it, if I chose not to continue to take care of myself I would be tempted to celebrate only what's happened in the past. I would say something like, "I really worked hard and took care of myself and got to where I wanted to be." I feel like a lot of people talk about their Christianity that way. Back then I needed it, and now I'm in good shape because of what happened then. It's tragic. Scripture says God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When He spoke to Moses, He described Himself as "I AM." He didn't say I was. He intentionally used the present tense which in this case includes the future tense as well. He was, He is, He will be.

My prayer is that we wouldn't look back and consider the greatest achievements of our faith behind us, but that we would look ahead and consider the greatest achievement of our faith ahead. We are being saved, we are passing from darkness into glorious light, we are being changed. It's happening now. We need it now, and we believe it's coming in even greater abundance. Let's embrace the now, let's be honest about our need for a Savior now. Let's consider that we're being saved.

Buildings...

A few weeks ago, we worked with some other folks in our town to dip strawberries in chocolate to help rescue widows in Rwanda (click here for more about the project). It was great to meet new people and for Holly, Jacob and I to be able to participate in a mission project that is both local and international. True Vineyard raised $10,000 in a weekend, and it was an honor to be a part of it.

In talking with the other people we were serving with, I learned something. Our church is still pretty underground. Over the past few years we've enjoyed a steady rise in attendance, an increase in community activity and projects, and a growing interest and involvement in missions and orphan care. We have a good mix of college students and post-college adults, a lot of kids, and a growing Junior High and High School group. Things are better, stronger, and bigger than they've ever been. In spite of all of this, when people find out I'm a pastor (despite my attempts to keep it on the DL), a conversation like this ensues...

"Where do you pastor?" I say, "River Stone Community Church." They say, "where's that?" I say, "we meet most often on campus?" "Which campus?" "The Texas State campus." "Oh, are you that church that meets in the student center?" "No, that's Three Rivers." "Oh, do you meet up on the hill? I think I've seen your commercials." "No, that's the church formerly known as Fellowship of San Marcos - Bay Area Fellowship." "Oh, I think I had a friend go to that church" "That was probably PromiseLand. They've had their own building for 4 years now." Oh, I guess I've never heard of you guys." "Yeah, we keep a pretty low profile." "Well, good luck to you guys." "Thanks."

If I had a dollar for every time I had this conversation I could... well I could take you to Taco Bell, but it seems like a lot. The latest version included a follow-up question. "When are you going to get your own building?" Bum, bum, buuum! There it is. You can't be a real church until you have your own building. We're now in our sixth year as a church plant, and we're just now walking in the freedom and truth of who we were created to be. We're just scratching the surface, but our identity crisis is over. However, I have to confess, that from time to time in moments of weakness, I wish we had a better building situation. We've now been setting up for two years (before that we rented places where we could leave our gear in place). I'm tired of getting up at 6am every Sunday, leaving my family at home to go and pick up one of our trailers. Though I enjoy the time with the set-up crew, it's a lot of work. For two years now, our friends wait for us after our worship times and help to load everything out. We sit down to lunch around 2pm and get home between 3-4pm. At that point, we are fried! It sure would be nice to have our own place so my life would be easier...

By the grace of God, we meet in a theater that is closed 6-8 times a year. On those days we are forced to come up with a different meeting situation. I used to be frustrated by this, but now I consider it a tremendous dose of grace. It used to stress me out when I couldn't find an alternative location, and when I did, it would cost twice as much as the place we normally meet. However, one day that all changed for me. I heard someone speak on the underground churche in a foreign land, and they told how they couldn't announce their meeting locations because the cops would show up to persecute them. If they wanted to know where to meet, they had to pray and have the Spirit tell them where to go. Sold. No more complaining on my end. We'll follow the Spirit. It's not quite that bad at River Stone, but it's close. It's an opportunity for us to identify with churches around the world where the Spirit of God is still alive and well. It helps us remember the freedom we enjoy is rare and a blessing (or maybe it's a curse, but that's probably a different blog). People really do lay down their lives for the same faith we share, and while they're fighting for their lives, we've got climate control, video clips, coffee and doughnuts - thank you, Jesus! I digress...

Last Sunday (and this Sunday), we're without a place to meet, and we decided to do something different. We decided to give the set-up team the week off, and meet in a park. I've embraced what Rick Warren used to say, "you can worship with us if you can find us." So, the picture above is from our worship time at Landa Park in New Braunfels. No sound, no lights, no livestream, just the Spirit of God and his wonderful creation. People brought their lawn chairs and blankets and turned a concrete slab in a public park into a sanctuary. We sang with the birds and the wind. We lifted our hands with the trees. We bowed down with the valleys. We groaned with creation in anticipation of the Gospel. While we were there, I remembered a passage from the Life Journal in Mark 13. One of Jesus' disciples said, "Look, teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" And Jesus said to him, "Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down." And there you have it. Jesus doesn't care about buildings. Being a "real" church has nothing to do with having a building. It has to do only with the presence and power of the Living God! I pray that as a church, that's what we want to build - a group of people hungry for God and hungry to live differently because He's changing us. Hungry to dance upon injustice. Hungry to speak for those who have no voice. Hungry for the Kingdom to rain down on Hays county and the world.

For the record, there's nothing wrong with buildings, but a wise pastor told me yesterday... "It's incredibly rare for a church building that is full of people to be full in the next generation." Look around at all the empty church buildings. So many churches are closing their doors. Their buildings were no guarantee of longevity or even the presence of God. It's just a building. I continue to wrestle with this, but at this point, even if we had enough money to buy land or build a building (which we don't), I would have a hard time not suggesting to the elders that we give it away instead. A few years ago, I felt like if we ever had a building of our own, that it would be a gift, and we would receive that gift only if we could use it to consider our community more important than ourselves. I think I'm back to that. We are a nomadic church, and that's who we are. We're not in the same place every week. We don't make it as easy and convenient as possible, but we would love for you to be a part of our family. However, you have to understand that our goal is not to get in a building as soon as possible. Our goal is not to cater to everyone's felt needs. Everyone's need is Jesus, and He's enough. In fact, our goal is to stay out of a building as long as possible, because we're gaining a truer understanding of what the Church is called and created to be. It's not easy, but it's the right thing for us.

Welcome to the life of a nomadic church...

Persistence

Yesterday, while preaching on The Lord's Prayer in Luke 11:1-13, I got hung up on the word "impudence." "Impudence" means persistence. The message Jesus was preaching was one of persistence. I couldn't help but feel conviction about this. I'm a starter. I like to get things started. I'm a visionary. I'm a dreamer. I'm all over the place - all the time! I drop bombs and let other people clean up the mess and work it out. But persistence is about finishing. The life journal this morning was Hebrews 12-13 and Jude. In Hebrews, it says to "run with endurance the race that is set before us." I said something very similar to the quote on this poster yesterday, and it's a message for me just as much as anybody. It's not going to be one in particular dream or vision that's going to be what I'm after, it's going to be the finishing of a bunch of smaller dreams and visions that build into something more significant. For the past couple of weeks, everything I read seems to include words like constant, without ceasing, persistence, impudence, in all things. I feel like I'm growing in persistence as a discipline, and I'm hopeful that I will become more of a finisher in the process.

On a sort of related note, the most difficult area for me to stay persistent in is praying for Holly's eye. It's now been almost six months since Holly woke up with double vision. It's not as bad as it was back then, and it has days of being better and days of being worse. The worse however, is not as bad as it was. She's probably driven herself places close to 20 times in the 6 months. 90% of the time, we've felt like it's just not a safe option for our family. I've found myself the past few days realizing that I'm not praying with the same intensity or persistence that I was 6 months ago. Don't get me wrong. I've prayed ever day for her eye, but not with the same zeal. So, I'm reminded that it is those who keep asking, seeking, and knocking who get the door opened when the timing is right. I'm trusting that some revelation and complete healing come soon.

So, may I encourage us all to be persistent, even if it's in something small. Let's start somewhere. Let's finish something. Let's run the race marked out for us and trust that we're training for greater Kingdom things.

Holly's final doctor visit...

This morning we had the follow-up with the hematologist. The main purpose was to rule out the Anti-phospholipid Antibody Syndrome. The blood work had to be repeated at least 8 weeks after the first test to be conclusive. The results were negative. The one test that was borderline was not even close. He also did a number of other tests that looked for any type of genetic clotting disorder. They were all negative. He even went as so far to say that based on all of the tests (including the MRI's), he finds it hard to believe that it was any type of blood clot that caused the palsy of the cranial nerve. So, if it wasn't a clot, what caused it? It's a mystery. It appears to be a fluke medical condition caused by nothing, or something that can't determine. The good news is that Holly's now been given a clean bill of health. There's no need for long-term blood thinners, and there's nothing to be careful of for the future. Hopefully, by the grace of the Lord's healing hand, her eye will continue to heal and align. This is a very brief update, but I wanted to get the word out. Thank you for your continuing prayers for the regeneration of the 6th cranial nerve. We are praying it through to completion, and we are trusting in the Lord's faithfulness that this healing will bring much glory to His beautiful name. Thanks again for caring about us and for your support through this trying season.

Much love!

Praying for Galyna...

This summer we had the wonderful privilege of meeting Galyna. Galyna is a Ukrainian orphan that was hosted by a family in our church. I'll never forget the look on her face her first Sunday. She was completely overwhelmed by our corporate worship experience. She wanted to sit in the back so she could check things out from afar. Her last Sunday with us (two Sundays ago), she was on the front row - right where she wanted to be. When some people gathered to pray for Holly's eye, Galyna was one of the first ones to pray, and she prayed in her native tongue which is something else I'll never forget. Since then, Holly and Galyna have a tight bond. As a result of that, Jacob and I also feel very close to her. Last Friday, Galyna returned to the orphanage in the Ukraine. Before she left, our elders joined with her and her host family and others who have adopted from the Ukraine. We prayed for her and for her return. We laughed, cried, prayed, sang and gave glory to the Most High for our time with her and how she's changed all of our lives. The family who hosted her is trying to adopt her, but the process is uncertain at best. We are asking the Lord to bring her home. The pictures above remind us of her time with us (at Jacob's birthday party) and where she is now (on the bus back to the orphanage). We are more than asking. We are fasting, expecting, and interceding for her protection, provision, spiritual well-being, and safe return. As the Spirit leads, we all would covet your prayers for this beautiful child of God. On Sundays, we're saving her seat trusting that she will soon worship with us again.

On a related note, we're collecting supplies for the orphanage in the Ukraine. We will be collecting blue pens, children's socks and underwear, and toothbrushes and toothpaste. Also, if you are interested in hosting a Ukrainian orphan over Christmas, there is a need. Log on to the GRACE Adoption Ministry website for more information.

Hematologist Report (on Holly's ongoing eye issue...)

Thank you again for taking the time to read about the latest on Holly's 6th cranial nerve palsy. Her vision is still the same. Still seeing truly double, and she is wearing some glasses we rigged up that block out the affected eye to help her function with the double vision.

We went to the hematologist at the request of the neurologist. The hematologist was really nice, seemed to really listen, and really knew his stuff. He looked at the blood work the neurologist ordered, but he didn't agree that the findings necessarily indicated the antiphospholipid antibody syndrome. He's familiar with that condition, and in his experience people that have it have higher numbers on their blood work. To confirm or deny the diagnosis, you have to wait six weeks between tests. So, Holly will have more blood work done the week of August 10th. He also said that he has treated a lot of people who have clotted as a result of birth control. Birth control enhances certain genetic tendencies of clotting. Most people only clot when they get older, but the birth control brings the clotting sooner. If there's no genetic issue, then the birth control is the culprit. He also wants to check her heart, because the heart can cause clotting. He doesn't really think it's either of those things, but he has to check it out. He did also say that when he's seen clotting as a result of birth control that it's normally in the leg. Holly's being in her brain is unusual.

So, we're still pretty much where we started. It's great news that he doesn't think it's the autoimmune disease. If that's confirmed by the next round of blood work, then she won't have to be on blood thinners. More waiting around and more praying that the 6th cranial nerve will regenerate so she can see. We'll give more information as we have it. Oh, and we seem to be really noticing how many verses there are about sight and blindness in Scripture. Pretty amazing.

We love you and cherish your prayers. Thank you for your support.

Jason, Holly, and Jacob

Holly Eye Update

Thank you again for all of your prayers and support during this strange time for us. It's now been almost four weeks since Holly woke up with double vision (diplopia). Her condition is basically the same. It's actually a bit worse because as her muscle is not being stimulated at all by the nerve, her eye drifts more medially and has made the double vision more severe. The abducens nerve is the real name of the 6th cranial nerve. A blood clot in Holly's brain has affected the blood flow to this nerve causing it to be paralyzed. This is the nerve that controls the muscles in the eye that move it laterally. Since this nerve is paralyzed, the eye drifts medially and inhibits the eyes from working together to see one image, they are working independently and seeing two.

Yesterday, we returned to the neurologist for a synopsis on the blood work (all 7 vials worth). They did find an abnormality. This was actually a bit comforting for us because it means something caused this. They found increased levels of her antiphospholipd antibodies. Antibodies are what your body makes to fight off anything that shouldn't be there. These increased level indicate that her body is creating antibodies that are attacking her own body. It is an autoimmune condition. The main consequence is the producing of blood clots in the body that could cause a stroke (or in this case a paralyzed nerve). Another symptom of this condition is miscarriage. We're two for two in the past year and a half. The next step is to have this diagnosis confirmed with a hematologist who will probably run all the blood work again to confirm. If he agrees, the solution is blood thinners. The question will be is aspirin enough of a blood thinner, or will they want to do something stronger that is prescription? Holly's body should be more well than it's ever been with this treatment. The appointment with the hematologist is a week from today.

However, it will do nothing to repair her eye. The healing of her double vision is entirely dependent upon the regeneration of that 6th cranial nerve. It is just as likely to regenerate as to not, but we are believing God for her total healing. Last week, a good friend of mine named John McComb (pastor of San Marcos Community Church), called and asked if he could bring some guys he prays with over to lay hands on Holly on Thursday night. I invited our elders and some others who have been standing with Holly very closely through this. It was an amazing time. One of the families is hosting an 11-year old Ukrainian orphan who prayed in her native tongue over Holly. That alone was worth the price of admission. It was so great to come together - regardless of church - and go hard after God's heart in all of this. Holly said she felt a couple of different things from the Lord during our prayer time (1) Look at how much Kingdom growth is happening because of this and (2) It's not time yet. So, we remain encouraged the God is working in the midst of this. We're still struggling to live normally as Holly's ability to do a lot of normal things is limited, but we're grateful for the opportunity to come together as a family, pray more than we ever have, and trust God for the future. The support from our family and friends has been almost overwhelming. The goodness of God is very close despite the weight of the situation. We each have our moments of melt-down, but overall we're very blessed, hopeful, and excited about everything that God's doing in this season.

Thank you for caring enough to read all of this and for walking with us. We love you.

Double Vision Update

First of all, I would like to thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, and kind words over the past couple of weeks. It is still a bit overwhelming at times, and we are truly humbled by so many family and friends interceding on our behalf. I just wanted to send a quick update.

These are some glasses that I rigged up for Holly to wear. The only way for her to not see double at this point is to block out her left eye. Her vision is 20/20 in both eyes individually, but the left one is the affected eye. It's the one that is unable to align the two images she is seeing. So, these glasses allow her to see normally out of her good eye and to block out the double vision. They are not a great fix, but better than a patch. We went back to the eye doctor last week, and he has ordered Holly a +10 contact. It's a super strong prescription. It's like putting on eye glasses that are so strong you can't see through them. The lens is so strong that she can't see through it, and it just whites out everything. The thought is that whited out is better than blacked out, and with the contact, she can still see light without obstruction. So, that should be here this week for her to try out.

We went last we last week for the bloodwork, and they took 5 viles of blood. The next day they called and said they didn't see everything on the order, and they need 3 more. So, the three more will happen today. Again, the bloodwork is to see if there's a viral or blood issue causing the 6th cranial nerve palsy.

We're taking it one day at a time. Coping is a little easier each day, but still very life-changing. Our prayer is that God would restore her sight completely in his perfect timing for His own glory.

Again, all the messages, phone calls, and conversations have been a huge blessing. Thank you for standing with us.

Faith shall be sight...


It's hard to put into words the events of the past few days. We appreciate all the calls, e-mails, messages, tweets, thoughts, and prayers. For those of you reading about this for the first time, thank you for caring about us.

On Thursday morning, Holly texted me during a meeting to tell me that she was seeing double. She's been spending a lot of time working on graphics this month, and she thought she had just strained them from spending too much time in front of the monitor. After taking Thursday off, she woke up Friday still seeing double. She walked in for an appointment with Dr. Stanfield, our optometrist and friend. After his exam, he said Holly's eyes were fine. She was seeing 20/20. She could read the bottom line on the chart, she just saw two lines instead of one. Dr. Stanfield said most people who say they're saying double are actually seeing blurred or ghost-like images. She was truly seeing double. The abrubt onset of the double vision and her eyes being fine were a cause of concern. Dr. Stanfield wanted her to go see a neurologist for an MRI as soon as possible. The problem was that it was Friday afternoon - not a great time to schedule a last minute MRI. After striking out finding a neurolgoist, our surgeron friend, Dr. Mathis, ordered an MRI so we wouldn't have to wait out the weekend wondering if there was something serious causing the double vision. The three hours we had to wait seemed like an eternity. I can't imagine what it would've been like to wait the weekend.

Holly's fear in the morning was that her streak of perfect vision was coming to an end after 31 years of 20/20. At 3:45, the fear was a bit more intense. Now we were conerned about a mass, an anuerism, or something like M.S.. I don't remember a worse period of time in my life than the few hours of not knowing whether or not my wife had something serious causing her double vision. The test took about an hour, and Dr. Mathis called about an hour later and said the MRI was negative. There was nothing in her brain causing the double vision. So, her eyes are fine, and she doesn't have any of the major things that cause this. Great news! Bad news - she's still seeing double. Did I mention this is the day we were supposed to be celebrating our 11th anniversary? Not quite the celebration we planned for.

So, we survived the weekend with a new appreciation for how people with visual disabilities navigate through life. Her vision did not improve at all over the weekend, and with the difficulty in focusing came headaches and fatique. We were anxious to get to the neurologist on Monday to try and get some more answers.

The neurologist gave her a full neuro exam and declared her neurologically fit with the exception of something going on with her left eye. The condition is best described as a palsy of the 6th cranial nerve. The doctor's best guess is that a small blood clot is what's caused the palsy. There's no reason they can find by exam or MRI, so that leaves physiological deduction. Guessing. There are some viral infections that can cause this, some obscure diseases and blood conditions. So, they've ordered a very thorough blood work-up to rule out all of those things. Those other conditions, though, should be accompanied by other symptoms. She has no other symptoms. They've put her on aspirin to increase the blood flow, and if the blood work comes back negative the condition could begin to heal. If that's the case, without supernatural intervention, it could be up to 6 months before her vision is restored to normal.

The neurologist said that we'll never meet another person with this, it won't come up in conversation. It's a unique situation that little is known about. We are so grateful for all of you in our lives. The support has been overwhelming, and we'll be taking you up on the help offers until we get through this. Earlier in the week, Jacob and I were doing a Bible Study together. We were talking about faith, and I told him that scripture says that faith is believing in what you can't see. When he was talking about mommy not being able to see, he said, "That's like faith, Daddy." So we're believing in what we can't see, and as I was listenting to the new Aaron Ivey CD, I got hung up on the verse of "It is Well" that says, "Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight...". Clearly the verse is talking about seeing Jesus, but it has an additional meaning for us now. We believe our faith will be the return of Holly's sight.

For now, it affects everything - her graphic work, her photography, her ability to drive, to watch movies, to read, to do everything really. The neurologist recommended a patch to cover the affected eye because the other eye is fine. She's tried that around the house the past couple of days, but her equilibrium is messed up from trying to get acclimated to only being able to see out of one eye. We've got an appointment with the eye doctor again tomorrow to explore some other options for closing off that eye. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of explanation and not a lot of good options for what's going to happen from here. We are trusting God for a full recovery, and until then we're just taking it a minute at a time trying to make the best of a very odd situation. We love you very much. Thank you for taking time to read all of this.

Much love,

Jason, Holly, and Jacob

The little blue packet of obedience

This morning I was reading in 1 Samuel 15. An excerpt from verse 22 says, "...Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice..."

It really got me thinking. This week I was talking to a friend of mine who is not a church-goer. He grew up in the Catholic church and has a Christian perspective on life, but he does not go to church. He was talking about how some guys he knows were adamant about abstaining from eating beef during lent while having no trouble chasing after women behind their wives' backs. I thought it was a profound observation. Why would they do this? Because they believe that sacrifice trumps obedience.

Sacrifice is a weak substitute (like equal for sugar) for a living, breathing, real relationship with the Creator of the universe. Even in the Old Testament, the LORD was revealing Himself, speaking to His children and asking for obedience and faith. They ignored him and offered him some token burnt offerings to try and make amends for their disobedience. This passage goes on to say that presumption is iniquity and idolatry. I think this is dangerous because I see a lot of presumption in the Church. We presume that God is pleased with a packed house at church. We presume that our songs are real worship. We presume that God is pleased that we decided to get out of bed and go. Maybe we even presume that because we fast or pray that God will have more grace on us. We presume that giving up beef will make up for cheating on our wife. It's sad that this system didn't work thousands of years ago, and it still doesn't work today.

God is not interested in sacrifices that make us feel better about ourselves. He's not interested in how many people we got to come to church. He's not interested in how well we pulled off a worship experience. I don't think he's using (I know I'm presuming now) the same scale to measure success. The next chapter says "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." Romans 12 says that worship has nothing to do with an hour and a half on Sundays but the way we live our lives. James 1 says that religion that is valid is taking care of widows and orphans. There's a real danger the week after Easter to feel like we're advancing the Kingdom because our numbers were big. Consequently, do we feel like we're doing less advancing because they won't be back next week?

So, where are we? Are we sacrificing and offering things in an attempt to draw near to God? Or, are we drawing near, listening for the still small voice, and responding in obedience to the sovereign plan of an Almighty God and Creator who loved us enough to come to us. We should stop trying so hard to win his approval by what we're trying to "pull off" and realize that His approval is a gift given to us through His Son, and His sacrifice is what's important. I pray that God would reveal the things we're offering as substitutes for obedience and that we would walk by faith and not by sight - in obedience and not in self-centered sacrifices.

Dad's story...

It seems like it's probably time to give all the details of what's been going on with my dad. First of all, thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, and kind words/messages from so many of you. There has been the biggest sense of this burden being shared among so many. Our family has been truly blessed by all of the love and compassion shown to us during the past three weeks.

While Holly and I were in the UK, we got an e-mail message from my mom that my sister and brother-in-law had found Dad passed out at his shop. The report I got was that he was dehydrated, disoriented, and had incredibly high blood sugar. I got that report Wednesday morning England time. So, we began to pray for Dad and went about our day thinking of him often. When we returned, a much more serious e-mail was waiting. He's had a 107.8 temperature all day, blood sugar of 2413, and is not expected to live. The story of us staying and finishing our trip and conference and how the Lord spoke to us and others is an amazing story, but I've chosen not to talk about all of that hear. For now, I'm just going to focus on the Dad's progress and not our own. He went from literally a ZERO percent chance of recovery to SEVENTY percent chance to full recovery. Here's what happened.

Dad had been sick with what he thought was the flu for two weeks. As it turns out, he had gall stones. The gall stones got so bad they shut down his pancreas. He developed severe pancreatitis. As a result his blood sugar skyrocketed to 2413 (his ICU nurse said the highest she had ever heard about was 1700). Needless to say, his body was shutting down - every major organ was being affected. His temperature reached 107.8 for most of a day while he was laying on an ice blanket. People generally don't recover from either of those things. However, an army of people were praying fervently for a miracle. Dad's pastor brought John 11:4 to the table which says, "This sickness will not end in death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” It was prophetic. Any moment, things could've gone bad quickly, but instead every moment he pressed on. He began to improve slowly and steadily. The first week he was heavily sedated because of the pain of the gall stones and the need for his body to conserve energy in order to restore function to his organs. He was on a ventilator, feeding tube, and had a central line. Every day the news wasn't that he was making huge progress, but he wasn't getting worse - which ultimately meant he was improving. We returned home in the middle of the night Thursday the 2nd. Friday morning, I finally made it to the hospital, and dad was sitting up looking at me and asked me how my trip was. He went from the brink of death to this in just under two weeks. They pumped him full of fluids to keep him alive while sedated, but then the fluids were in the way of normal activity, movement, and breathing. They put him on dialysis to remove the fluid from his lungs because his kidneys were not doing their job yet. Every time they would do dialysis, they would take 5 liters of fluid from his body. The fluid was keeping him from breathing well - so he was still on a lot of oxygen. This week he continued the dialysis, and yesterday he called me himself to tell me he was out of the ICU and in a normal room. Shelley and I figured it would be at least another week. We were shocked. He said they're talking about discharging him completely on Saturday. His prognosis is incredibly good, but it will take 6 weeks or so to see if his kidneys will re-boot so to speak. Until then, he will have to be on dialysis. There appears to be no other damage.

It is so humbling to be such a close eyewitness to a miracle of this magnitude. It's been amazing to see the nurses and doctors give glory to God. Most everyone who came to see Dad in the hospital ended up praying with/over him. Everyone was on the same page - this sickness would not end in death.

For those still praying, please continue to pray for his kidneys. It will be complete healing if they kick in on their own.

That's the incredibly short version of the story. To God be the glory.

Woe to you who laugh...

In my preparation this week of Luke 6:20-26, I couldn't get past the verse that says, "Woe to you who laugh...". The issue I have is not with Christians enjoying life and living it to the full. The issue I have is Christians enjoying life and living it to the full while ignoring the condition of the poor around the world. It is wrong for us to spend our life and energy pursuing our happiness at the expense of those who live in oppression and poverty. If our prayer is truly for the Kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven, then we can't pretend like the world is not a disaster. I compiled the following information about the condition of things around the world. I pray the Lord would lead us into the best opportunities to dance upon these injustices. This is not ok.

  • Tragically, nearly 27,000 children under age 5 die every day, mainly from preventable diseases and related causes.
  • More than 2 billion people lack access to electricity and modern forms of energy.
  • More than 1 billion (one in five) people live on less than U.S.$1 a day.
  • The annual world economy breaks down like this: Low Income, $825 or less: 37%, Lower Middle Income, $826 to $3,255: 38%, Upper Middle Income, $3,256 to $10,065: 9%, High Income, $10,066 or more: 16%
  • Approximately 143 million children in the developing world (one in 13) are orphans.
  • More than 10 million children under age 5 die each year. Two-thirds of these deaths — more than 6 million deaths every year — are preventable.
  • There are 1.5 million diarrheal-related deaths per year among children under 5.
  • An estimated 130 million of the world's 15- to 24- year-olds cannot read or write.
  • Roughly one-sixth of the world's population, or 1.1 billion people, do not have access to safe water.
  • About 2.6 billion people in the world do not have access to adequate sanitation, roughly two-fifths of the world's population.
  • Approximately 1.8 million children die every year as a result of diseases caused by unclean water and poor sanitation. This amounts to around 5,000 deaths a day.
  • The average person in the developing world uses 2.6 gallons of water every day for drinking, washing and cooking. This is the same amount used in the average flush of a toilet.
  • Approximately 21.1 percent of children live in developing countries without safe water.
  • Each day, 1,500 children worldwide become infected with HIV, the vast majority of them newborns.
  • Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS.
  • One person in seven goes to bed hungry every day.
  • Every day, nearly 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes. That amounts to one child every 5 seconds.
  • About 5.6 million or 53 percent of child deaths worldwide are related to under-nutrition.
  • Approximately 146 million or 27 percent of children under age 5 in developing countries are underweight.
  • More than 6 million children die from malnutrition each year.
  • Worldwide, 161 million preschool children suffer chronic malnutrition.
  • Already 40 percent to 50 percent of the world's populations are undernourished and there are 50 million starvation-related deaths each year.
  • Diarrhea kills an estimated 1.6 million children each year, caused mainly by unsafe water and poor sanitation.
  • About 40 percent of the world's 400 million school-age children are infested with intestinal worms due to the lack of sanitation.
  • More than 2 billion people globally lack access to electricity and modern forms of energy.
  • 2.2 billion lived in countries ruled by dictators or totalitarian regimes.
  • Children living in areas of extreme economic hardship and social disruption are at increased risk for abuse, violence and exploitation.
  • An estimated 1.2 million children — both boys and girls — are trafficked each year into exploitative work in agriculture, mining, factories, armed conflict or commercial sex work.
  • Approximately 5.1 billion people live in the developing world. The developed world, which consists of about 57 countries with a combined population of about 1 billion, is less than one-sixth of the world's population.
  • 55 percent of all births in the developing world (excluding China) go unregistered, meaning more than 50 million children begin life with no identity.
  • Worldwide, 126 million children work in hazardous conditions.
  • Every year more than 1 million children get pulled into the sex trade.
  • An estimated 8.4 million children work under horrific circumstances: forced into debt bondage or other forms of slavery, prostitution, pornography, armed conflict or other illicit activities.

When Enough is Enough


I was reading in Exodus this week and stumbled on to something extraordinary. In chapter 36, verse 5, “The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do.”

For the first time I can remember, I'm hearing pastors talking about the reality of the economic hard times. I've heard about churches who are putting expansion plans on hold, cutting spending on ministries, and even letting staff go. Our church is experiencing tremendous growth, but our offerings have not increased significantly. Every day we try our best to do more with less, empower more volunteers, work more efficiently, and to be faithful with what we've been given. The reality is that we have a lot of people looking for work, and our church is half college students. It is exciting to see God at work in our fellowship and lives being changed, but it becomes more challenging to minister to so many more people without additional resources. I haven't heard about any provisions for young churches in poor college towns in all the talks about the new stimulus plan.

All of that is why this verse jumped out at me. Could you imagine having to cut people off because they were giving too much? I've never heard of that in any church (though I do know of one in Dallas that only takes an offering every six weeks because, and I quote, "money's the easiest thing to find around here."). I've heard of churches doing series on giving when budget's not being met. I've heard stories of pastor's pleading for more money in order to not close the doors. At a conference a couple of weeks ago I heard about churches borrowing money to keep the bills paid. All of those scenarios make me sad. Is this story from Exodus unrealistic? How far are we from that happening.

I think even in a bad economy, this could be a reality. Over and over again in this part of Exodus, the people gave because their hearts were stirred to give. They weren't giving out of obligation, they were giving out of guilt, they were giving because their hearts were stirred, and they were delighted to be a part of what God was building. We also see that they gave as they were able. People who had money gave money. People that could sew offered sewing. Construction dudes built stuff. Artists and decorators gave their services to God. In beautiful detail, we have descriptions of the fruit of their labor. We contrast this with feeling obligated to give our 10% so that we will be "blessed" or "obedient." These offerings in this passage were not their tithe. What we fail to see in our time is that tithing is not some major sacrifice for the Kingdom of God. Tithing is the minimum. Tithing is "housekeeping" according to my friend Norman. When we see the generosity of our forefathers in Exodus, we should be challenged to not be content with tithing, but we should search our hearts to see what else we can give. Some can give a lot of money, others can give what they do, others can give time. We were created to glorify and worship God, and that opportunity includes how we give and volunteer.

I'm now praying that a day will come in our church where we can say, "that's enough." We really don't need any more money. Or, what if we were able to take most of our offerings and give them away because it was too much for us? That's the Kingdom. I pray that we would listen to our hearts and respond in generosity, respond in giving. I believe that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I believe that He still stirs our hearts today as He did then. I believe that even when it seems like we should be storing away for the tough times ahead that we would invest in the Kingdom with our money, talents, and time. I believe we could see it... "Thank you for your offerings, but we've got enough." How awesome would that be?

Hurdles

For our nearly 4 1/2 years at River Stone, our insurance situation has been unstable at best. We started a church with no financial backing and were willing to make whatever sacrifices were necessary to do what God has called us to do. Insurance has been something we've sacrificed off and on just to make ends meet. These days, things are better, and the church is in a position to help out with that expense, So, I began insurance shopping. I filled out the online application and waited to hear from them. They called to ask about Jacob's allergies. I explained the situation, and they acted like it was no big deal. He takes Claritin from time to time so he won't sneeze. No big deal. A few more days, and we still haven't heard anything. So, today I called to see what the deal was... I found out that Jacob was approved with a 20% increase in the premium because he's allergic to stuff, but Holly and I were denied. I inquired as to why, and I'm still beside myself ... "You're expecting a baby." "Because you're adopting, we treat that as if you were pregnant, and we don't cover maternity, and we're required to add your new baby within 30 days, and we're not willing to take that risk. " Really?!?! I argued and complained, but couldn't get her to stray from the script.

Adoption is this crazy thing. We've begun to walk through these steps - making sure our house is in order, preparing for a home study, networking and trying to find out which means you want to use to connect with your baby, praying that God would bring you the right baby at the right time in the right way according to His will, and dealing with the fact that this could cost you in the $10,000-$20,000 range. Then you wonder about the birth mom and the health of the baby. You wonder what race, what gender, what personality, how will Jake do as a big brother? Every day walking, praying, waiting, and thinking about all of the hurdles you have to jump over to come to the place of bringing a baby home. It was a hurdle to move Jacob's room so that we can start to get a nursery ready. It's a hurdle to brainstorm fundraising ideas. It's a hurdle to put your life on hold because it's better to prepare for a new baby. There are so many hurdles. I never in my wildest of dreams would've guessed that adopting would cost us our opportunity to get health insurance. I know the insurance world is very broken, but are you kidding me?

The Lord is faithful, and He always comes through for us, but I am so irritated about having to jump over a hurdle I thought we were already over. But, since when do things happen like I expect them to happen anyway? None the less, I'm angry and trying to understand a world that punishes you for wanting to bring home a baby that needs a home. For the love!

Bigger and Better

 
This morning I was preaching on Joshua chapter one where Joshua takes over after the death of Moses.  I talked about how God's plan and promise is bigger than any one person.  The vision of every church should be bigger than any one leader can accomplish.  We should be leading our churches with future generations in mind.  If our churches don't outlast us, then we're doing something terribly wrong.  
A couple of years ago, Norman took Holly and I to the Chichester Catherdral in the UK.  On the wall was this plaque with all of the Bishops/Pastors.  The one at the very top lists S. Wilfrid as the Bishop of this church in the year AD 680.  The most astounding thing is that the ministries of this church are alive and well today.  1500 years of ministry. 1500 years of the Gospel being preached in one place.  
I like to keep our 4 years of River Stone in perspective.  It's been a great ride, but we've got a long way to go.  God's plan is bigger and better than what we could ever plan for ourselves.

Opportunity Missed

Pizza on my birthday is a tradition that started with visitng my Grandparents most Christmases in Minnesota.  White Christmases with my Grandpa Norman reading the Christmas story are occasions I will cherish forever and never forget.  My birthday is the day after Christmas, and my family would always take me out for pizza at Angeno's.  It was always very special for me having the same cast of characters who came together the day before come together again to celebrate with me. This year, I thought I didn't care very much about celebrating my birthday.  We had Holly's extended family's Christmas time on the night of my birthday - which was great.  So, we went and had wings for lunch (always a great birthday option).  When some of my Minnesota family members left me facebook birthday messages, they mentioned pizza.  I began to regret the fact that I chose wings over pizza.  So, last night we made up for it.  We went to Mangia's in Austin for my birthday pizza.  It was truly a pizza pie, and it was delicious.  Holly and her mom ordered a pizza to share that they messed up.  The waitress told them to eat on the messed up one if they wanted and that she would bring the right one at no charge.  So, they did, and we ended up with a whole pizza to go.  I put the pizza in the back as we drove down to Mozart's for dessert and then on to Westgate for a movie. 

I don't know about you, but I always struggle with how to react to someone who approaches me asking for money when I'm getting out of my car.  I wrestle with my call to take care of the poor, to help the helpless, to demonstrate the love of Jesus.  Am I enabling?  Am I really helping?  What's the best scenario for this person at this time?  If I have change in my pocket or some cash, I will typically give something.  Many times it will be a fluke that I even had anything to give, and I count it as a sovereign moment.  Other times, I don't have anything to give and respectfully decline.  Last night,  as I was getting Jacob out of the car, we were approached by a homeless lady asking for help with food.  Immediately I became a victim of my own thought processes... do I, don't I...errrr...  I had no cash, no change, and I even pre-paid for my movie tickets online.  I didn't think I could help this lady, so I apologetically declined. 

This morning, I brought a couple of boxes of books to the office that had been in the car for most of the week.  When I opened the back, I found the to go box with a whole pizza in it.  My heart sank.  I still feel horrible.  She asked for food, and I had a whole pizza in the car from one of the best places we've ever been to.  It didn't even cross my mind.  So, I use this today as a sort of public confession.  Out of my abudance, I had the opportunity to feed the hungry, and I dropped the ball.  Thank God my ommission is met by His tender grace, but I hate that I missed an opportunity to bring the Kingdom. 

Concerned About Division

 
As I was voting last week, behind me a fight broke out.  It wasn't a physical fight, but it was a definite verbal fight.  The volunteers were being nazi-like in their enforcement of the no cell phone or electronic device rule.  They said there were signs posted, but there were none.  I only know this because I too was a victim of a volunteer with 10 minutes of power rebuking me for disregarding the sign that didn't exist.  I was somehow able to not give him the tongue-lashing I had come up with in my heart.  The guy behind me wasn't able to show this type of restraint, and a pretty impressive argument ensued.  I'm not really into politics, and these thoughts are not political suggestions or proclamations.  They are just some of my attempts to resolve my own political tensions. 
I walked away completely frustrated with my voting experience, and I've been able to work through some thoughts since then.  First of all, the past 20 months of campaigning have forced most of our nation into a corner.  It's created a huge us vs. them mentality.  Parties have divided people.  More than that, it's caused people to decide that they're better than other people based on who they feel should be elected.  Tensions are high as a divided people anticipate the arrival of the new "Savior" to occupy the oval office.   I worry about the post-election fallout.  What happens when someone loses?  Will the people who so violently oppose a certain candidate really be able to line up under their authority should they win?  I know this happens to a degree after every election, but it seems this time it's going to be worse this time around.  
A nation divided against itself will not stand.  As different camps have magnified what all the disagreements are, I wonder if we'll be able to recover and unite with what we have in common.  I wonder if people will be able to come out of their corners and embrace whoever the "losers" are in this election.  I realize that the "under God" part is already a problem with those who oppose a belief in God.  Are we now on the verge of losing the "one nation" bit as well?
I was just trying to do my part to be a responsible citizen and vote my conscious and convictions, but I walked away not feeling like I had done anything to make my country a better place.  I left concerned about the tension that exists in our land.  If our hope is really in either one of these two men running for office, God help us.