Adoption is this crazy thing. We've begun to walk through these steps - making sure our house is in order, preparing for a home study, networking and trying to find out which means you want to use to connect with your baby, praying that God would bring you the right baby at the right time in the right way according to His will, and dealing with the fact that this could cost you in the $10,000-$20,000 range. Then you wonder about the birth mom and the health of the baby. You wonder what race, what gender, what personality, how will Jake do as a big brother? Every day walking, praying, waiting, and thinking about all of the hurdles you have to jump over to come to the place of bringing a baby home. It was a hurdle to move Jacob's room so that we can start to get a nursery ready. It's a hurdle to brainstorm fundraising ideas. It's a hurdle to put your life on hold because it's better to prepare for a new baby. There are so many hurdles. I never in my wildest of dreams would've guessed that adopting would cost us our opportunity to get health insurance. I know the insurance world is very broken, but are you kidding me?
The Lord is faithful, and He always comes through for us, but I am so irritated about having to jump over a hurdle I thought we were already over. But, since when do things happen like I expect them to happen anyway? None the less, I'm angry and trying to understand a world that punishes you for wanting to bring home a baby that needs a home. For the love!