Washing Feet

This evening I learned another lesson from my soon to be four year old. I know it's weak that this is my only blog material as of late, but this was significant.

Tonight was the playoff tournament for our Co-Rec softball team. I'm proud to say that our record is perfect - perfectly bad! We lost every single game ... except for our first playoff game - which we won due to the other team not having enough players. The outcome of our game tonight was not favorable, but it's a great group of people to be around, and thank God the beatings are over.

Anyway, back to the boy. My son has a crush on an extremely cute three year old named Allison. He says that she is his girlfriend, and tonight he said that he loved her. I wish we were still in the era of arranged marriages. I'd hook this one up in a second (Cody and Amy, I think we can work it out). Jacob loves it when Allison comes to the games to watch her Daddy play. Tonight was such a night. They ran and played and climbed and mostly played in the dirt. When it was discovered that Allison's feet were dirty from their play time, Jacob volunteered to wash her feet. He took the wipes and started to work. I was not an eyewitness, and I'm not sure how good of a job he did. I'm not even certain that he got to execute his plan, but it was a beautiful moment. Tears were in eyes, and I'm proud of my boy. When a lot of kids punch their "girlfriends" or boss them around or tell them what to do ... Jacob wanted to wash her feet.

Normally at night, we go through our KidsTalk page that Holly puts together for all the kids at our church. Tonight when I was tucking him in, with tears in my eyes, I told him that he did something just like Jesus. I told him how Jesus washed the disciples feet when they were dirty. I also told him that tonight instead of me teaching him something, that he taught me something. Tomorrow I'm going to look for an opportunity to wash some feet - especially of the people that I love.

Appetism

I do have to confess that I like to make up words, especially while I'm preaching. This word, however isn't a word that I made up, it's real. Read on ...

One of the greatest delights of my job is baptizing people who have become Christ-followers. This past Sunday we baptized these 4 beautiful people in the San Marcos River. There is something special about baptizing in the river, something very New Testament, something refreshing and something very fun.

To make things more fun, count on my son. When Jacob was watching us walk down into the freezing cold river, he looked up at his Mommy and said, "Mommy, why is Daddy going to appetize those people?" I more than chuckled at his attempt to repeat words that make sense to everyone else, and I trusted that he didn't really think that I was going to consume any of my friends in the river. We've told him it's "Baptize", but he's still got his heart set on "Appetize". So, according to my almost 4 year old, we had an "appetism" celebration on Sunday.

As usual, the apparent randomness of my kid teaches me the grace of God. In many ways baptism is appetism. Before you dig into the main course, you whet your appetite with an appetizer. As you begin your journey as a Christ-follower, the first thing the New Testament asks of us is to be baptized like Jesus. It is the beginning, the diving in point, the whetting of the appetite that makes you hungry for more. My heart breaks for those who arrive at baptism and see it as an end. It's truly a beginning, a Genesis moment, the start of a journey with the Lord. It's an appetizer.

Another way my son's brilliance (I know that I'm biased, but he's freakishly smart even if he is too stubborn to poop in the potty) shone through is how appetizers affect others. Even when I'm not hungry for an appetizer, if someone at the table suggests it - I'm in. Or, if another table orders it and it catches my eye, I want it. It was truly delightful to gather with most of our church on the banks of one of the most popular swimming holes in our town, in the shadow of Joe's Crabshack, for a celebration of new life with Jesus. As I dunked each Christ-follower, the people screamed, clapped, whistled, and yelled in celebration as others who were just there to swim were drawn in by the experience. Maybe they saw that following Christ is exciting and fun, not boring and mundane. Maybe they saw that we rejoice with those who rejoice. Maybe they longed for something they don't have. Maybe appetism is something they will desire for themselves some time soon. That's my prayer anyway.

That's my blog this time around. Thank you, Lord, for my son who continues to teach me and make me laugh. May his life continue to be lived for Your glory!

In Defense of the Bride...

I have to confess right now that I'm angry. Actually, I don't really need to confess it because anger is not a sin, but I just thought I'd start there to explain the intensity of the following rant.

I just read a blog that was very disturbing to me. It's the same song, same verse that gets sung all the time. Church sucks. It's boring. Everyone's fake. Nobody cares about me. It's all about religion, a checklist and routine. Why can't I just be myself? Why won't they play music that I like? Why do I not feel better when I leave? Why can't it be more like a rave? Why can't we just drink beer, smoke weed, and talk about God and spiritual stuff?

The common theme is always the same... someone who doesn't put anything into the church but expects a whole lot out of it. Someone who is so consumed with their own wants and desires that they miss the whole thing. Someone who wants to experience God, but doesn't want to obey His Word. Someone who is all of the sudden a music critic b/c they can't get beyond their own preferences.

I have little patience for this way of thinking. Believe me, I've experienced ritualistic worship in a traditional church. I've watched with broken hearts as people just sing words off a page with no expression, no emotion, and certainly no excitement. I understand you can make an argument that emerging churches can fall into a pattern that is comfortable for them. I even understand the parallels between the traditional forms and emerging forms. This is what I don't understand. What gives any one the right to show up once or twice a month just to give the church a rating? The church doesn't exist for the satisfaction or joy of any man. It exists for the glory of God. The moment we criticize an honest service of worship that has been put together by pastors or leaders who have prayed to God for direction and led by volunteers who have sacrificed their time, energy, and talents for a greater good, we place ourselves on the throne and focus our worship there. Nowhere does scripture teach that worship is supposed to make you feel good. Though experiencing the presence of God is what we were created for, and it does bring us joy in a way we can't understand, the reality is often when biblical characters actually experienced the presence of God - they were afraid for their lives. The bowed in honor and reverence. They prayed for others. They ministered. They were used by God to bring about life-change in others. They experienced the supernatural in their very lives because they were focused on God and not the songs, or whether or not anyone talked to them, or whether they liked the sermon. They showed up every day in excitement of what God was going to do. That's right every day. Scripture tells us not to forsake meeting together. It also tells us they met together daily to be sharpened by each other. Proverbs says that as iron sharpens iron one man sharpens another. When iron sharpens iron ... sparks fly. I've experienced this in my own life more times than I would care to admit. When I need to be sharpened, my sharpening experience doesn't always make me feel good, but knowing that I'm being molded and shaped and stretched is good. Worship has that same potential - sometimes - a lot of times what's more important is that it hurts good not just feels good. Look at the people's reactions to Jesus' teachings. How do you think the pharisees felt when Jesus told them they were sons of their father the devil? I'm guessing that didn't make them feel good. The old adage that the truth hurts is true. But it hurts good. When I put on my critic hat, which by the way I'm very quick to do when I attend churches other than my own, I become the object of my worship.

Now, is there any excuse for Christ-followers to not grow in community with other Christ-followers? No. Is there any excuse for not being missed? No. Is there any excuse for exclusivity? No. However, in my experience the people who complain about that intentionally avoid contact from others. Intentionally don't initiate conversations. Intentionally don't let anyone know what's going on with them. Intentionally leave without telling anyone just to prove that the church has failed. Community is two way. The root is the same as the word communication. It is impossible for communication or a lack of to depend on one party. It's always both. Not "feeling" part of a church is never one party's fault. It's both. However, if your worship experience is dominated by feelings of "I dont' really like that" or "these people are all fake" or "I'd be better off on my own" you're more focused on yourself than what Scripture teaches us about church.

I think it's tragic that people complain about how pastors like me expect people to come to church. The collective church is the bride of Christ - the very people that Christ died for. It crawls all over me - just like if someone talks bad about my wife - when people attack the church either generally or specifically. The bible talks about those attacks too. Be careful about pointing out the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye when you've got a plank in your own. In humility, having someone pull your plank out is going to be painful, but necessary. It's time to come to church in humility with brokenness, with an open heart and mind, with a desire to plug-in, with a desire to serve others and consider them more important than yourselves. It's the bride of Christ, not of ourselves. It's not for us to talk bad about another man's wife - especially Jesus'. It's our job to get to know her, spend time with the bride and the groom, and grow in love and respect for them both. The epistles say that the two become one. So, when you trash the bride, you trash the groom. It's ironic that people say "I like Jesus but hate the church". It's impossible. The two are one. It's time to see the church for what she will become, not for all of her faults. Thank God Jesus doesn't look at us like that. He takes us as we are, reconciles us to Himself, and spends the rest of our lives sanctifying us, perfecting us, making us more like Him. The church is by no means perfect. There are faults, there are problems, but she's still the bride. Still one with Christ. Maybe it's time to stop hopping around from church to church and finding all the problems and time to plug-in and be a part of helping them to be what God is leading them to be.

I'm tired of "Christians", religious or non-religious, blaming the church for all their problems when all the church desires to do is provide them with an opportunity to connect with God. It's time to take ourselves off of the throne and remember what church is about - for the glory of God not the glorification and enjoyment of ourselves. Lord help us that we think it's too hard to follow you in modern day America and that we have good excuses for not commiting to pouring our lives out as a drink offering for the greater good of mankind. May you break our selfishness and pride.

I told you it was a rant.

May the Lord have mercy on the critics of His bride and pastors who are caught in the middle of a God who loves His creation, and a creation who loves darkness more than light.

Friends

I've learned something this week ... I'm co-dependent on a lot of people. We have some of the best friends in the world (some of whom are undeniably pictured above). The past week has been a whirlwind of activity at our new house. We've cleaned, painted, put down new flooring, and a lot of other stuff. The bottom line is that we couldn't have done it on our own. There's no way. The other thing is that we didn't ask anybody for help. It just came, and it was and is one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. On top of that, our 24 date friends put off watching the 2 hour season finale until we could watch it together. Who does that? Who helps paint until 2:30 in the morning ... and then again until 1:15 in the morning two days later. Who stays until 2am putting in floor? What kind of crazies am I surrounded by? I'm really not sure the answer to the last question. All I know is that the love of God has been on display through many beautiful people in our lives.

Thank you for those who have helped, who are going to watch Jake, who are going to clean, who are coming to help move stuff, who put off watching 24, and who have patiently allowed your spouse to be apart of any of these things. The sacrifice you've made is humbling and a wonderful overflow of the joy of the Lord. May the Lord bless your commitment to being great friends. Holly and I love you and appreciate you more than you know.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Sleepless in Seattle... and San Marcos...

While this does sound like the title of a girl's blog, in my defense I've never watched the movie ... well at least the whole thing. It's true. That's Holly and I at the original Starbucks in Seattle. Coffee was more of a requirement than a luxury last week for us as we spent most of the week, well, sleepless.

Once or twice a year I get wind of a conference that I'd actually like to go to. Most of the ones have to do with topical church things that I frankly could care less about. The Reform and Resurge conference hosted by Mars Hill Church was appealing to me. The pastor is Mark Driscoll, and he's a controversial, outspoken leader who recklessly and faithfully pursues the fullness of God. While I don't agree with everthing he says, I have been very sharpened and influenced by his work and research. What set this conference apart is that it focused on theology more than ideology. In other words not the how to, but more of the why to. And pardon the Sunday School answer, but it was a lot about Jesus.

I told my staff about the conference in December or January and told them I thought we should go, but that I couldn't garuntee that the church would be able to pay their way. Quickly we decided that we would trust God to provide for us to go which included paying our own way if we had to. We also decided to invite our wives along. The most unappreciated role in the world is that of a pastoral staff's wife. Every day our wives willingly sacrifice us to the common good of the church and everyone else. Every day our wives suffer more activity from the devil himself than anyone else. Every day our wives hurt when we hurt and are mother and nurturer to not only our kids, but to the church. Every day, our wives are the strength behind our ministry. They are rarely thanked even though they are more than major players in all of the ministries we are involved in. Because they end up being so involved, it was great for them to be involved in the training that we received. Because we received a generous donation from one of our partner's employers, we were able to pick up the tab for the entire team to go to Seattle.

We spent 16 hour days listening, learning, crying, laughing, worshiping, praying, thinking, planning, processing, and meeting together. It was intense. It was more Jesus than I ever expected, and my life will never be the same. We did work in some sites, but more than that God actually awoken parts of me in the midst of my sleeplessness.

I feel my sleeplessness in Seattle is actually giving way to sleeplessness in San Marcos. God used a week in the most beautiful city I've ever seen to refresh and refocus my heart. He reminded me of why we came to San Marcos. We came to reach a lost college campus, to redeem the city, the make an impact, to make a difference, to be a church that would be missed if the doors closed. That's why we came. I have to confess in my own life that what has actually gottten sleepy is my personal vision and pursuit of those goals. Meeting new people, building new relationships, prayerwalking, and serving my community has given way to maintaining a church, leading a staff, having a bunch of meetings, and surviving the weekly worship grind. That simply will not due any longer. It's time to do what we came here to do, by the grace of God.

If you're a River Stoner reading this, I pray that God would grant you your own personal sleeplessness for San Marcos. I pray that we would start dreaming dreams, having visions, and being the Resurgence that God has called us to be in our community.

Now, that's just a glimpse of what happened, and to be frank. I'm tired and going to bed.

Blessings to you. God Bless.

Big Daddy Ibex

Please forgive my gap between blogs. I've been meaning to get this one down for a while, but I think it's worth the wait. Last week I actually took a day off - it was wierd - I admit - and took my family to the zoo. Jacob had been talking about it for a week, and it was part of his reward for his continued progress in peepeeing in the potty. Anyway, it's been a while since I've been to the zoo, and we had a great time. Like all zoos, the smell was atrocious, but it didn't prevent us from standing in awe and wonder of the detail and majesty our creator put on display in each and every animal. Every one unique, specifically adapted, colorful, inspiring, scary ... it's all there. So, we walked around, saw everything, and were about to leave when we stumbled on to something amazing ... the IBEX exhibit. At first glance an Ibex looks like a cross between a goat and a deer - crazy looking little things. As we were approaching them, a zookeeper said if you look closely, one has just given birth. Sure enough, less than 5 minutes before we got there a baby Ibex had been born. You can see him there in the picture. Momma was still down from the birthing experience, and when we got there there was no Daddy in sight. Within a few minutes, Momma had licked the baby clean. Within another few minutes he was trying to stand up. He's not even ten minutes old, and he's standing up - amazing. I was impressed. Then I was scared. I was scared because Momma decided she wanted to give birth up on a cliff. As this baby Ibex was stumbling around for the first time, he was making his way very close to the edge of the cliff. There was no way his tiny body would survive a fall of that magnitude. I found myself getting mad. I couldn't believe that this precious Ibex 10 minutes old was going to come crashing down to a horrible death. Worse than that, Momma was unable to help because she was unable to move yet. I couldn't watch anymore. I'm serious. I turned my head because I didn't want to watch. Then out of nowhere, Daddy Ibex lept up the cliff and nudged the Baby up to safety. What I didn't see, that I see in this picture is that it looks like Momma was crying out, and then Daddy came through. After he saved the baby, he never got far enough away that he couldn't quickly come through for the baby.

It just made me think about God coming through for me - saving the day, making a way for me to be safe - in Him. Sometimes I venture out too close to the edge, and He's always nudging me back to where He knows I need to be. It also inspired me as a Dad to give my son freedom to explore, but to always be there to keep him safe - to never be so far away that I can't come through for Him.

That's what I learned from the zoo.

Celebrating a Miracle ...

One of River Stone's first miracles turned one today... which actually means the miracle is about a year and 9 months old. In our first couple weeks of existence as a church, not only did we find out that Brian & Christy were going to have a baby, we find out they were going to have two babies, and we found out that something was wrong. Come to find out the babies were conjoined.

On our second Sunday, we brought them to the front and prayed believing a miracle was going to happen. We prayed for separation. When they went to the specialist the next week, they looked at the previous information and agreed that they were conjoined, but at this point they were no longer one, but two.

The girls were born prematurely and spent a bit of time in the NICU in Austin, but today they are amazing. Two beautiful little girls with character, personality, senses of humor, and an amazing story to tell when they get older. When I watch them crawl around, try to stand up, clap and laugh, capture the attention of anyone within view, and pull my goatee, I stand in awe of the greatness of our God. He still works miracles. Tonight I was reminded of the miracle of Adalynn and Mikaiah.

Thanks for the reminder, girls. You're beautiful.

Like the Wind

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." ~ John 3:8

That's what I kept thinking when Jake and I were flying our kite last weekend. I don't remember the last kite flying experience I had, but it didn't take me long to realize that this kite flying stuff is fun. I had more fun than Jacob, and I wouldn't rest until I had let out the entire spool of string. Our park location wasn't ideal - it was kind of a bowl surrounded by hills and trees that encouraged swirling type winds. Right when I thought we were doing - it came crashing down all the way to the ground. So, I would run, dip, pull, backpeddle, kneel down - whatever I had to do to put the kite in the way of the upswirls. Once it was up, I let Jake hold it all by himself. He did great and didn't let go. He also loved running and chasing me across the field as I was fighting with the kite. For some reason, Holly always positioned herself right where the kite would dive-bomb all the way to the ground. I'm happy to report that no injuries were incurred, but a lesson was learned by me...

When we live our lives under the influence of the Holy Spirit, we can not predict what it will be like. It's not up to us to predict and manipulate the ups and downs. The Spirit (like the wind) takes us up and down, and sideways, then rapidly up, then gliding effortlessly, then through a very difficult time, then ultimately as high as you can possible go. That kite was most impressive when it was fluttering loudly and the streamers off the tail were flying wildly due to being caught in the strength of the wind. The wind blew wherever it pleased, and I had to do a lot of running, pulling and inconvenient stuff to get where it was. Once I was there, it was beautiful.

We were meant to live at the mercy of the wind that we can't see, but we know is there. Sometimes it takes us high, other times low. Sometimes we have to readjust to find ourselves back in the influence of the wind. Life in the Spirit is the best life ever ... never dull, never predictable, up, down, loud, quiet, but most importantly soaring high under a power beyond what we could accomplish on our own.

Maybe you should fly a kite this weekend ...

God Bless.

He took my place

At a Ecumenical, Good Friday Service a couple of days ago, I carried a cross. When they passed out a sign up sheet a couple of months ago, the only thing on the list I was remotely interested in was carrying the cross. Everyone else did a dramatic (actually a not-so dramatic) reading of John 19. The text was amazing, but the emotion was lacking. Many of those who were reading were friends of mine, and they were serious about what they were reading, but they were just reading. I had no idea that what I signed up for would affect me.

As I carried the cross down the aisle to the stage to stand it up, I was reminded of the million images of Jesus carrying His cross I've seen over the years. I was reminded that Jesus told me that unless I take up my cross daily then I cannot be His disciple. This cross carrying is serious business, and all of the sudden I was very honored to be carrying this big piece of wood. After all, it was my sin that sent Jesus there. It was my shame that He took. It was my pain that He bore. It was my public humiliation that he embraced. On Good Friday I remembered that the only reason that anything Good is - is because of the cross.

Recently the Lord put some words in my heart about a song I was wanting to write, and the bridge simply says this ...

It should've been me hanging on that tree
Exposed for all the world to see
I owed a debt that I could not pay
And dead in my sins I would have stayed ...

Thank You, Lord Jesus for the sacrifice You made on the cross. Thank You for taking my place. Thank You for making a way for me. I love You.

A Great Day

Today was a great day. It started with a productive early morning reading some articles and preparing for Staff Meeting. I love Staff Meetings. It's great to get to hang out with guys you enjoy and talking about the thing you love to do. A meeting followed which was painless, then more talking with folks at our facility... and then the fun begins.

From there I went to the HEB to stock up for dinner. Tonight we had our staff over (except Kaysa and her fam who are out of town) for a celebration. That's right the Astros Opening Day is an event worthy of much celebrating. We're not talking about mass produced spaghetti for dinner either - that's right. It was the breaking out of the grill for the first time this season. Steak, potatoes, salad, bread, and banana splits. I told you it was a celebration.

Unfortunately this is the first time we've all been able to be together like this in a long time, but fortunately it was great. It was great to be surrounded by folks we've been called to do life with. It was great to hold babies, to catch up, to laugh, to argue, to break bread together, to embrace the reality that God has handed to us. I know my friends don't enjoy baseball as much as I do, but they came knowing that it was a celebration special to me. I was honored to have them here. Could Acts 2 be this simple? Loving, laughing, eating, deepening friendships, sharing life, and Jesus being the glue that brings it all together - man, that's good.

I was excited about baseball, basketball and a new episode of 24. But it ended up being much more ... sharing life, investing in each other, growing together. The best part ... tomorrow we do it all again with our Overflow Group. Food, friends, Bible, prayer, and who knows what else. May the sharing of life continue, and I hope that if we haven't been able to share it with you for a while that it would happen soon.

You know what else (one last thing)? It's fun going to the store, working hard to prepare a good meal, and serving it to your friends. I highly recommend it and a reading of Acts 2.

Did I mention the Astros won? Did I mention that this day is made greater by the fact that when everyone leaves, I'm left at home with a beautiful, wonderful wife who allows me to plan random celebrations for seemingly trivial things even when she doesn't feel that great and an energetic three year old who was quick to remind me that opening day wasn't all about me when he began asking, "now can we play trains... daddy, let's build a biiiiiiigg track". Life is precious and we should celebrate it more often.

God Bless and have a great day!

Cash Flow

In the past year, we've learned more about trusting God in the area of money than ever before. I learned another lesson this weekend that God really does order what he pays for.

In Malachi 3, God invites us to test Him in the area of tithing. In other words, He will provide for our monetary needs when we're giving Him the first 10 percent and whatever else He tells us to give.

My friend Norman said that whenever he speaks in other churches, he always puts something in the offering so he can invest in that ministry. As I was pulling into Starbucks (thank you Jesus for Sunday nights at River Stone) early Sunday morning before preaching twice at Grand Parkway in Sugar Land, I remembered the words of my friend. I immediately began to feel convicted about investing in their ministry, but the battle raged in my mind that we can't really afford it. We're about to buy a house, and we need every extra penny we can get. Then the words, "test me in this" echoed in my head. I used my debit card to buy my venti caramel latte, and got some cash back for the offering at Grand Parkway. Then it occurred to me that there were two services, and I wanted to contribute in each service, so I went to buy a pack of gum so I could get some change. I was going to put ten bucks in each service. Well, the only checkout lane that was open was the self-checkout and there was no one around. I've never used cash at the self-checkout. So, I put in my $20 for my $1.05 gum. When my change came out, instead of there being $18.95 there was $23.95. Again, what do I do? There's no one around, and I'm running late. I decided this transaction was providence and that I would drop it in the offering plate. You probably would've hunted down a manger and told him the story of the machine making an error and had him stuff the money back in the machine. I took this as an act of justice for all of the times the self-checkout has ruined my day. Anyway, stop judging me and read on ...

So, I got to the church and put on the mic and some guys wanted to pray for me. These guys were older and wiser than me, men who have served the Lord for a long time who take great delight in asking God to do great things in worship that day. After convincing one of them that I really was the guy who was preaching that day ... they laid hands on me, and I felt the thermostat in the room elevate to "Holy Spirit is Here". It was amazing. The Lord was answering their prayers, and it was beautiful. When we were done praying, one of the men put something in my pocket. He said, "I made a little extra money this week, and while we were praying God told me to give it to you." I told him thanks, and thanked Jesus that His Word is true and does not return void. This is the kind of stuff that never happened to me until recently, and now it happens all the time. A dinner here, a reimbursement at just the right time, a rebate in the knick of time, a servant with an extra Benjamin. It makes it a lot easier to write that tithe check every week in order to continue to receive the blessing and provision of God. Thank you, Jesus, and thank you again Norman for your continual teaching. It goes on even when you go back to the UK.

My challenge is to test God in the area of finances. Read Malachi 3 if you have any questions. God Bless.

A Short Bus Tale ...

It is true that in my elementary school days, I was a beneficiary of the school bus. For the most part, I was not a big fan. Many times I found ways to miss the bus so that I would have alternative means of transportation. One time I hid from the substitute bus driver. Other times I chose to walk all the way home in the Houston heat. I didn't enjoy the school bus experience, and it was quite a dose of reality for a kid.

For a couple of those years, the bus that I was assigned to (#772) was shorter than many of the normal busses. It was a "short bus" as seen on the left here - a Bluebird to be specific. While it was short in length (not height), it did not contain seatbelts, rails, lifts, or any other "special" features. It was just short. That's all. The other bus seen above is also a "short bus" complete with lift, seatbelts, rails, special mirrors, and more. My bus (#772) did not have any special equipment.

Recently, my beautiful wife and my friend Brian thought that it would be funny to dwell, and when I say dwell I mean beating the horse for about an hour past the time it breathed its last, on the fact that my sole transportation to and from school was a bus that was not as long as many other busses. It was a "short bus", but not the "short bus" that you're thinking of. I furthermore won't reveal the derogatory slang that they used to refer to the bus on the right, and for some reason I have an overwhelming need to explain this to the general public since my wife and my friend won't listen.

While I learned important lessons about life (it hurts a lot less to be punched in the back than in the arm or head, all cuss words are not created equal, some bus drivers have a phallic symbol on their key chain, that you can in fact peel out in a bus, when the guy next to you had pancakes for breakfast - his clothes smell like it all day, being introduced to rap music from the small boom box above the driver's mirror, if you got to the bus stop early you could work in a game of Excitebike at Sunny's, do unto others as you would have them to unto you, etc.) I never considered my bus experience "special", even though apparently some close to me - whom I didn't know at the time - do.

I also must say that at the end of elementary school, my bus was big - large - huge - full size. That's right, I was not limited to the "short bus" for my entire elementary school career. I eventually grew out of it.

While I don't have any animosity or ill-will towards those who rode the bus on the right, I did not ride THAT bus, and I feel more than compelled to plead my case on this matter in this context. So, thank you "short bus" for my many lessons learned and for preparing me for the ridicule and mocking I now must endure because of you. I'm a better and more complete person for riding you, and my heart hurts for those who were robbed of the opportunity to learn what I have learned. God Bless the "Short Bus".

Many Blessings to all Former Riders of the "Short Bus".

The End.

The Dam Church Theory

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." ~John 7:37-38

We have been studying the book of John for a long time, and my life and view of Jesus has been radically changed as a result. One of those changes came about from this passage.

Jseus tells us that the Holy Spirit will equip us and lead to overflow living water (Jesus). The streams element of this really got me thinking about the functionality of church. Rivers (I'm using this interchangebly with streams) are these huge systems that carry water downstream to places that need it. Rivers always branch off into streams and tributaries. Over time rivers mold the land they flow through. Hello! The Grand Canyon was formed as the result of the river that runs through it. The objects in the river are also changed... River Stones are smooth and beautiful. Think of the whole life system that exists beneath the surface. Fish, snakes, turtles, plants ... the river maintains life. Water sustains, nourishes, shapes, refreshes, carries life. Rivers always empty into a much bigger significant body of water. They're always a part of something bigger than themselves. What an amazing picture.

Since the Church is not something you go to, and it's something that you are...and if Christ-followers are to have streams of living water flowing out from them...then our churches should be these celebrations of living water flowing. When I think of rivers I think of the big ones - the Nile, the Amazon, the Colorado, the Mississippi. I think of rapids and powerful rushes of water that are uncontrollable. In addition to receiving what's necessary from rivers, we receive joy from rivers. San Marcos and New Braunfels summers are filled with people floating the river. Why? Becasue the river is moving and riding it is fun.

Here's the problem. I think churches are much more like lakes than rivers. Instead of realizing that we have the ultimate source of life that a world desperately needs. Instead of praying that God would flow his living water out of us to the hopeless, helpless, and hurting. We've built dams. We've stopped the flow of the living water. Why? Because we like it. It makes us feel good. In the lakes we swim, we ski, we fish (that's a whole other blog - "fishing" where the fish are...), we lay out, we have a picnic, we spend the day. We think that church is about us. We think that living water is something that Jesus gave us to feel good. Jesus puts the Living Water of His Spirit in us so that we can be a part of letting it flow to others. Look at the little flow of water coming out of this dam. Now look at the river above the dam. We tend to manipulate, control, and rationalize how much water comes out. We open and close the valves at will - it's all up to us how much God we overflow to others. That's not the way Jesus intended for it to play out. When the river flows, it flows wherever it wants, it flows powerfully, and it brings life. Shouldn't the church be more influential because we've earned the respect of our communities with an outpouring of love. Shouldn't we be known for how much we give away and not for how fancy our facilities are? Shouldn't we be helping those who need help? Shouldn't we be out to do something about the fact that our world associates us with the "Christians" on TV. Maybe it's time to follow Christ.

Jesus broke all the rules of the religious. He caused division among the leaders. He brought life to those who didn't have a chance. Maybe when you look at your life, like I've recently done at mine, you find a lake where a river should be. It was never solely for our enjoyment. The irony is there's not greater joy than bringing life. I promise it's a lot more fun to trust God to overflow wherever He decides and not where we decide. Let's make a pact...let's get rid of the "Dam church" and let the river flow.

Thanks for putting up with my ranting ... I'm a little passionate about this one.

Oh No ...

This past week at church, God led me to share testimony about the journey we've been on the past year and a half. I won't go into all the details here as I went into great detail Sunday night. (The entire message is on-line at www.river-stone.org or www.myspace.com/rscc)

The jist of it is that we cannot experience the full glory of God in our lives until we are desperate for Him. In the past year, I've gotten glimpses of desperation. We've had to learn to trust God in ways that were at one time foreign. I would've told you that I was trusting God, but the reality is that I was trusting myself. In order for me to come to a place of actual trust in God and not in me, He had to walk me down a path that at times has been uncomfortable. We've had to trust God to make financial ends meet, for provision, for food, for a bed, for many other things that in a former time we could've provided for ourselves.

On a trip home from HEB Saturday night, I was having a moment with my Savior in the car feeling extra grateful for the provision of groceries in the back. I was remembering times of Ramen Noodles in the recent past. I was remembering our friend Norman's stories of the poor and hungry overseas. I was thinking about different experiences of hardships and how I've learned to trust Him more. I was strangely moved. I was humbled. I was thankful.

My trusty 3 year old was in the back recovering from the rejection of all the No's he'd just experienced at the store as he attempted to drive up the bill with additions of toys, candy, and chocolate. He loves the store. He loves to help bring in the groceries ... and drop them in the middle of the kitchen floor. He loves awaiting the opening of the bags and asking, "What you got for me?". So, as we're on our way home, and I'm having a solemn assembly in the front seat - I hear him begin to sing. This is something he's started to do more and more. Sadly his songs are usually "Little Einsteins" or "Thomas the Tank Engine" related, but this song was different. He began to sing one of my new favorite worship songs...

"Oh no, you never let go,
through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, you never let go, in every
high and every low.
Oh no, you never let go,
Lord you never let go of me."

God spoke to me about my difficult season and the difficult seasons of people that I love. He reminded me of the truth of this song, and also that He never leaves us or forsakes us, and that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. For those of us who've walked through the valley of the shadow recently ... Immanuel ... God is with us. For those of you hungry for God, the difficult season may be coming and ... Immanuel ... God is with us. Thank You, Jesus.

PS - I could also spend a lot of time talking about how special it was for my son to lead me in worship. I don't even know how he knows that song. He's in KidsRock when we sing it, and I've only sung it around the house a few times when I was learning it. Amazing that God puts things in our hearts in order to use it to minister to others. Thanks, Jake ... I love you. Here is the song Jacob led me in ... "You Never Let Go" by Matt and Beth Redman.

Even though I walkthrough the valley of the shadow of death,Your perfect love is casting out fear.And even when I'm caughtin the middle of the storms of this life,I won't turn back, I know You are near.

PreChorus:And I will fear no ev   -  il,For my God is wi - th me.And if my God is wi - th me,Whom then shall I fear?Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:O no, You never let go,Through the calm and through the stormO no, You never let go,In every high and every lowO no, You never let goLord, You never let go of me.

Verse 2:And I can see a lightthat is coming for the heart that holds onA glorious light beyond all compare.And there will be an endto these troubles, But until that day comes,We'll live to know You here on the earth.

Bridge:Yes, I can see a light that is comingfor the heart that holds on,And there will be an end to these troubles,but until that day comes,Still I will praise You,still I will praise You.

The nicest thing anyone has ever said to me...

So, it was a pretty typcial valentine's day - meetings by morning and lunch, checking in on an elementary school by afternoon, a little computer work to finish off the work day before getting ready for our Valentine's (check out http://www.theresurgence.com/ for a great history of Valentine's Day) rendevouz. My first stop was the annual trip to the Connelly Car Wash. The Durango had grown quite gritty in recent months inside and out due to countless happy meals spilled in the back seat by Jacob, my wife's obsession with using the passenger door pocket as a really big trash can, and my inability to take empty bottles and coffee cups into the house or closest garbage receptacle. So, the car was dirty.

I waited my turn, threw some stuff away, and talked to the guy about the car wash I wanted. I decided to splurge for the wheel and tire treatment (I can't express to you the joy I receive from Armour All). I then took my ticket inside the car wash waiting room which could easily have been confused with an indoor flea market. I looked around at all the junk and paid for my car wash while anxiously awaiting my turn to follow my car down the car wash through the 4 big glass windows in the flea market. Once it appeared to be safely through, I went outside to wait. This is where it happened.

I was sitting on a bench talking on the cell phone... waiting. There were 4 cars being dried. Mine was one, a beat-up Chevy Malibu was another, and two - count them - two Corvettes. One was a mid 90's model, and one was a new C6 as pictured above, but black. As I ended my phone call, I was noticing how our car looked pretty good for an almost four year old family SUV. Mid-thought, a snappingly dressed gentleman in his mid 50's, who also happened to be the owner of the 90's model corvette, approached me cautiously and respectfully and inquired of me, "Is that your C6?" Immediately, I was taken back. I was filled with a sense of pride and accomplishment. I stood a little taller, lifted my head a little higher, stuck my neck out a little bit and replied, "No, unfortunately No." I didn't appreciate the magnitude of what had happened until later. A member of the Corvette family accepted me and welcomed me as one his own. To him, for a moment, I looked the part of the owner of one of the coolest cars to ever touch the road. As a former motorhead who used drag racing as my drug in high school, it was the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.

Immediately following, I found out they lost two of my hubcaps in the carwash somewhere in the "trough". I didn't care.

From there, I went to pick up flowers (which we later found out we were both allergic to), went home to pick up my beautiful valentine, dropped the kid and picked up Brian & Christy, and went on to a wonderful dinner and murder mystery experience. It was a great day!

In case you're waiting for the spiritual parallel or what God taught me through this experience ... sorry, this moment was strictly for my ego and pride. Thank you, Jesus.

I love the Church

Over the course of my ministry career I think that perhaps I have been the biggest critic of the Church. This is ironic for a number of reasons. First of all I have surrendered my life to serving this thing called Church and a couple of times a month I get a paycheck from that very Church. The very thing I've given my life to has caused me as much frustration as joy over the years - not necessarily the churches I've served in, but the bigger picture of the Church.

When people outside of church think about pastors or church people they think of bad TV shows hosted by old ladies with huge blue hair, way too much makeup, and lots of tears. Or maybe they remember televangelists having affairs. Or maybe they think of places where little boys are molested. Or maybe they think of the people responsible for bombing abortion clinics. Maybe they even remember boycotting Disney or forcing wives to submit. Or there's the issue of whether or not we hate people who are gay. I don't remember the last time the church got national run for anything good. Locally, churches get some decent press every once in a while, but as a whole it's been very disappointing what we're known for. It seems we're known more for what we don't do than what we do. The tension I've felt in this area over the years is much.

However, a little over a year ago, God allowed us to start a new church called River Stone. Since that time we've deconstructed every thing we learned about church. We questioned everything, studied scripture intently, prayed a lot, and decided a lot of things that we didn't want to be. The problem with deconstruction is that when you're done you're not left with anything. If you want to be a part of growing a church, at some point you've got to begin construction of what God has called you to be. I think that we've stumbled on to what God has called us to be.

God wants us to be pro-Church. Not pro River Stone, but pro Church. I was honored to be able to lead worship at a sister church in our town this week. I stopped to think during the message how we had another worship team leading at another partner church in our community. Here we are serving two churches we're not even a part of. During the message of the church I was serving, I began thinking about how different our churches were. A year ago, I would've thought that our way of doing church was better or more "right." Thank you Jesus that I've been humbled to the point of seeing the value in any type of church that desires to be who God has created them to be who preach the Gospel of Jesus unapologetically. This church, though different, was much the same. Preaching the Word, worshiping through song with a band, offering programs for people to plug into for spiritual growth ... maybe we're not so different after all.

A major point of revelation was, "I love the Church". It hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't just love my church, but I love the big C Church. The bride of Christ is something worthy of investing my life in, and now that I'm pro-Church, not just my church, it is an honor to partner, invest, and serve the other churches in our community or your community or our global community.

Thank you, Jesus for the Church. May you bring Your kingdom to earth through your bride. May we love, honor, and cherish her everyday, may we pour our lives into her, may we experience Your love for her and walk empowered in that love. I love the Church. Amen.

Robbed

As many of you probably know a couple of weeks ago we got robbed. I walked into our apartment to find DVD's scattered all over the floor, our video camera gone, my playstation - gone, Holly's computer - almost gone. We think I scared them off. That's right - they were in my apt. when I went to open the door. I came in the back, they ran out the front.

In many ways I was already thanking Jesus when I went to bed. It couldn't been worse. My media computer (the mac) was at the church and my other laptop was in the car. Both of those would've been gone and I don't know what I would've done. The same for my music stuff - all at the church. I was feeling very blessed that I didn't actually walk in on these guys, and that the stuff that I really care about/need was protected.

A few hours later the guys tried to sell my playstation to some other guys a few doors down in the Motel 6. That's right, they were from out of town - FT. Worth actually. They came in robbed two apts, then stayed to party in San Marcos. Then, they unloaded all my stuff into the Motel 6 and tried to sell it to the guys 3 doors down. The deal went bad, a fight broke out, someone called the cops and I found my stuff. They arrested the guys and told me they would be calling me to pick up my stuff. I got the call yesterday. I went and picked up what they confiscated. A duffle bag full of 71 DVD's (I can't believe we have that many DVD's, but many of them were hot titles like Bob the Builder, Thomas and his Friends - quality stuff), my video camera, my PS2 controllers, but no playstation. Even though I saw it at the scene, it didn't make it back to the Police Station somehow. So, they filed a request for restitiution on my behalf. I'm not going to be waiting by the mailbox.

So, a week and a half later the intial emotions of fear and caution are subsiding. For the first few days we couldn't sleep, every noise woke us up. Lights were left on, and I found myself getting up multiple times during the night to check the locks. Since they tracked mud into our apt, our office had the carpets cleaned for us. It's amazing what clean carpets will do. Today, we feel safe, know we were not a planned target, retained all of our stuff (except the playstation), and are content to live out our lease here through the end of May.

Thank you for your prayers. We had many people ask about us, call us, and e-mail us. I know that your praying for us gave us strength to make it through a difficult time. God is good, it could've been so much worse, and we could've lost a lot more. Thank you Jesus.

However, if the people who robbed us, or if you're considering robbing us, are reading this - we're soon to be protected by Smith & Wesson. God Bless America!

Seriously, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and support. It made a big difference in our lives.

Head, Heart, then Hands

Recently we've been discussing our existence statement, "A Community of Christ-followers continually devoted to pursuing the fullness of God". It has come up repeatedly in our staff discussions that for too long the church has focused on the how and not the why. Even in the fleshing out of why we exist as a church it is possible to focus on the how and not the why. Why do we even desire to exist as a church? Because the love of Christ pursued us, found us, engaged us, changed our lives, and gave us a desire (and an opportunity) to serve Him by serving others. Paul says, "the love of Christ compels us." Compels us to what? For us, we feel compelled to pursue the fullness of God.

Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle says that the fullness of God has to do with experiencing Him with your head, your heart, and your hands. Experiencing God with our head describes our knowledge of God. We know about Him, we know who He is. We can tell you what He's like, what He's done throughout time, that He sent His son to die in our place and to pay the price for our sin. We know a lot about God, don't we? But knowing or even believing in God is not enough (even the demons believe that and shudder). There's no fullness in knowledge alone. We must next move to the heart.

You experience things with your heart when you spend time together. When we know or believe in God, we are drawn to Him, we want to find out more, we want to spend time with Him. As we spend time with Him, listen to Him talk to us through Scripture, pray and meditate on Him, worship Him, etc - something happens. We see that the love and grace He lavishes on us was not only for ourselves but for the good of others who haven't experienced Him. My heart, the center of my emotions, is sparked by being with God. When we are ignited by spending heart time with God, we are urged to take another step ... hands.

Hands has to do with serving. This can also be referred to as works. Works has become an attention getting word in the world of the heart. After all, works don't get you to heaven, knowing God does. Working hard isn't what gave us the right to be forgiven, grace did. It is true that faith is by grace through faith alone, but that's an incomplete picture of following Christ - especially pursuing His fullness. When we know God with our heads, experience Him and feel Him with our hearts, we are compelled to serve Him and live for Him with our hands. Ephesians says that God sets apart certain things for us to do and prepares/equips us to do them. If I don't make it to the works, then I'm not full.

I'm afraid that we've become comfortable hanging out in the heart and not made it to the hands. Now, there are plenty of people who are trying to bypass the heart with works and performance, but that doesn't work either. God is not impressed with our activity alone. God loves us, draws us to Him, then hand-picks us for specific tasks that in return give him the Glory that is due Him.

My prayer is that we struggle through these things. Our knowledge of God (and the things of God) should increase daily. Our experience of Him with our heart should also increase daily through the time we spend with Him. Finally, our lives should be consumed with doing the works and performance that He has created us to do. Intimacy with Him compels us to activity that He has prepared in advance for us to do. So, we shouldn't be afraid of works. For it is by His grace and love we are able to know Him and to participate in His drawing all people to Him.

Thank you, Jesus, that in spite of my humanity and depravity that you have prepared and empowered me to work for You as a part of Your plan. Use my head, my heart, and my hands.

All in the Family

One of the greatest joys of a young church is knowing everybody. It's easy to get to know not only the heads of families, but the kids also. We don't have a bunch of programming for children, so we spend a lot of time together, and I've never been more grateful for that than Friday night.

We had a night we called "Porch & Altar". It was an intimate night of prayer and worship. Kaysa led us through a Lord's Prayer model of praying, and it was a great time of interaction with our Heavenly Father. When it came time to repent of our sin, to confess our depravity, and to allow God to forgive us and cleanse us ... one of our kids did that for the first time. It was one of the greatest joys of my ministry career. Brian and I were leading worship from the stage. We were singing Martin Smith's "Majesty" and I saw this young man tell his dad what was going on. Then I saw him tell his mom. It was beautiful. This young man was no stranger to God. He sits in worship every week soaking up truth like a sponge. Just this week his dad and I were talking about how close he was getting to becoming a Christ-follower. Friday night, with his parents praying on both sides of him, God called and he answered. I was later pondering the tragedy of many kids coming to that point with people they barely know at a camp or retreat or programmed event. Since it is the job of parents to disciple their own kids, I felt such a sense of completion watching this experience unfold. A 5th grader was saved with no invitation, no plea from a pastor desperate to see salvation - only the pursuit of a loving heavenly Father.

I pray that my son is raised in such a way that the love of God surrounds him continually. I pray that he would daily become more aware of what God is about and how powerful His love is. I pray that God would call him as clearly as he did my friend on Friday night, and I pray that just as my friend did, that he would recognize the voice of the shepherd immediately.

I was so relieved that as we pray for salvation in our church and in our community that I didn't have to do anything for salvation to happen except provide an environment of connecting with God. It truly is God's job to build the church - not mine.

Thank you Father, for drawing men to You as You are lifted up. May we see this continually. Amen.

Congratulations, Jack! You're an amazing example.

Where Religion Finally Dies

I've always loved the Darrell Evans song, "Fields of Grace." The line, "There's a place where religion finally dies" is very profound for me. As I've been studying and preparing messages from the book of Acts, I've been enlightened to more of the significance of that song.

Jesus was killed by religious people. The government tried to let him go, the religious people demanded that he be crucified. The government was scared of the crazy religious people so they complied. A little while later, this guy Stephen shows up who's doing what Jesus did. He's teaching, he's healing, he's serving, he's proclaiming the message of the Gospel. He's real, he's wise, and he can't be argued with. While many religious people (priests to be exact) were walking away from the shackles of religion into the freedom of Jesus, the most religious people were so threatened that they had to do something. So, they grabbed him and killed him.

Right before he died, Stephen delivered the most comprehensive Gospel presentation in the entire book of Acts. He painted the big picture for the religious. Here's my summary:
God loved you so much that He led you out of captivity into the promised land. He gave you the law and said He would take care of if you would just live by it. You thought your way was better. You thought your plan would work out in the end. He sent prophet after prophet to help you see that you were putting yourself above God. You would torture and kill anyone who was different than you. You were worshiping weird gods, with a a particular affinity toward sexually immoral ones. You separated yourself from God b/c you ran your plan. So now, same song ... about the 5th verse. Jesus came to allow you to be free. He died so that you might experience life. Walk away from your traditions created by man. Religion is sin. You've missed it ... again.

What they didn't know was that this was God's last plea to His chosen people. That's why it's so long. He wanted them to be able to understand, but one last time ... they missed it. From this point on, God sent the message to those who would receive it.

This is the way I see it here and now. When we follow Jesus, the religious people will hate us, or at the very least not understand us. Yes, those comfortable with their status in "church" - complete with rank, title, policies & procedures - will look at those who are following Christ differently and pass judgment. They will assume the Christ-followers are not right in their manner of worhsip. They will be threatened and afraid. In the end they will try to destroy the Christ-follower. Jesus was opposed to religion when He walked the earth, and today his followers still should be. The problem is religion in churches is the status quo. Statements like, "'we've never done that before" or "it doesn't feel like church" are indications of religion. A living breathing relationship with Christ eliminates the opportunity for religion. If we want to thrive as a Church, religion must be dead. Religion dies in a relationship with Christ.

As we've been questioned by the religious, we've faced statements like, "You're not going to make it," "You're a cult," "You're just a church for college students," "You're a fad," "when are you going to start meeting on Sunday mornings like a real church" and on and on. All I can say right now is that at the moment we've won the approval of the religious is the moment that we're not following Christ. It would also be easy to say that we're rebellious or liberal. The reality is that those who encountered Jesus would've said the same of Him. I don't mean to say that we've reached the place where we look like Jesus, but as long as we don't look like religion - I'll be happy with the progress we're making.

"There's a place where religion finally dies,
There's a place where I lose my selfish pride."
-- Darrell Evans, "Fields of Grace"

May we have the strength and boldness to never find ourselves in the status quo of religion, but may we float in the wind of the Holy Spirit as He blows us in whatever direction He chooses.